Team Development

April 23 2026

Your Employees are Lying to You

Your employees are lying to you every single day. And it’s not their fault — it’s yours.

That’s the uncomfortable truth Dr. Phillip Shero opens with. The same conditions that stop your team from being honest with you are the same ones that make feedback conversations go nowhere.

When people don’t feel safe telling you the truth, they tell you what you want to hear. In your one-on-ones, in your team meetings — and when you ask for feedback on your own leadership.

In this episode of Leadership Insights that Build Real Trust, Phillip walks through exactly why this happens and what to do differently — starting with the questions you’re asking and how you respond when someone actually speaks up.

If your feedback conversations feel one-sided, this is probably why.

Ready to build a team that tells you the truth? Let’s talk.

EMAIL DR. PHIL

March 19 2026

Get Built: What the Best Teams Have

Phillip Shero Team Development

I’m a big fan of teams, not because they are perfect, but because they are often the best option for achieving results that would be impossible for individuals.

I’m also a fan because teams can bring a sense of purpose or meaning to almost any task, no matter how menial or difficult. A good team can redeem even the most challenging circumstances. And in the best circumstances, a good team can achieve unbelievable results.

But good teams are not easy to build, and not every team can or will achieve the status of a good team or a great team.

In my twenty years of experience working with dozens of teams from the inside and the outside, I have found four things that good teams have in common. If your goal is to build a strong team, I would encourage you to consider how you can deliberately build towards these four.

1. They have a History

Good teams have a history. Team history comes from two sources: shared experiences and shared stories.

The shared experiences are the times when the team, or significant portions of it, did memorable things together both work-related and outside of work. What kinds of experiences are memorable and count as team history? Often, they are experiences that take team members outside their normal routine or outside their emotional comfort zone, such as trips out of town, regular lunches or special dinners, challenging assignments completed together, and being together in sickness, trauma, or bereavement.

The shared stories come from team members voluntarily opening up and sharing important moments from their personal experience outside the team. Through shared stories, team members get to know each other on a deeper level. Depending on what each person freely decides to share, the team may come to know about early life experiences, family challenges, personal setbacks, treasured memories, meaningful life goals, and so on.

What can you do to build team history? Leaders and team members cannot force a team to have history (and it may not happen quickly), but you can look for and/or create opportunities for history to happen. For experiences, try planning a team trip, budgeting for a weekly lunch, or encouraging attendance at significant life events outside of work.

For shared stories, try using a tool like DISC to prompt awareness and communication or bringing in a facilitator to create a safe, professional environment for opening up. You can also model this voluntary behavior by sharing your own meaningful personal stories (not the ones where you are always the hero!).

2. They have a Cause

In addition to having a history, good teams see a future together, because they have a cause to work towards that is bigger than themselves.

The deepest sources of meaning for human beings are other human beings. While achievements can sometimes be inspirational on their own, most people find deeper meaning through connection with others, especially when that connection helps people or builds relationships between people.

I have found teams to be remarkably adept at talking together to discover and create meaning in their work, but that kind of conversation does not often happen on its own.

What can you do to connect your team to a cause? You can create the space and agenda for them to have a real conversation about why their work matters. Whether you do this yourself or bring in an outside facilitator, your team members need time to reflect individually and then discuss collectively how their work affects other people (both inside and outside the organization). You will know they have succeeded when you hear people become energized and demonstrate an emotional connection to a cause bigger than themselves.

3. They have a Permission

Good teams have permission from each other to do three important things that they would not allow most other people to do.

Good teams have:

permission to get up in your business.
permission to laugh at you.
permission to lead you.

In a typical employee relationship, people may resist or avoid giving constructive feedback to others. But on a good team, everyone knows that every member has permission to get up in each other’s business and give uncomfortable feedback. They have built enough trust to know that this is done out of genuine care for each other’s best interest and in service to the team’s goals. It’s a demonstration of mutual accountability.

Good teams also have permission to laugh at each other. Laughter on good teams is 100% free of barbs or passive/aggressive behavior. It does not sting or hurt, because it is never used as a substitute for complaints (see feedback above). Permission to laugh at each other (including jokes and pranks in good taste) is a demonstration of vulnerability and safety within the team.

And good teams have permission to lead each other. While the team may have a default or designated leader, the members give each other permission to lead whenever necessary, based on skills, expertise, or other factors. Permission to lead means that there is no battle for power. Each team member is willing to follow another when that is in the best interest of the team.

What can you do to build team permission? You can’t force it, because permission is given freely by each individual. But you can talk about your vision for how the team will function and help the team become aware of behaviors and thoughts that work against the three permissions. You can also show the way by giving this permission to others.

4. They have Your Back

Finally, good teams have your back.

When this element is in place, you will hear people say things like: “I know my team is there for me.” “I can count on my teammates.” “We always support each other.” “My team will be there no matter what.” “Even if I’m having a bad day, my team won’t let me down.”

Having each other’s back is more than trust, it is a commitment to serve one another even when it’s hard. That commitment provides the security of knowing that others will not let you fail. Few things in this world are secure or certain—the concept of job security itself seems elusive. But a good team can create an environment of security for each other that is based on mutual commitment.

What can you do to build team commitment? First of all, you need to not be afraid of it. I’ve known leaders who were constantly worried about an “us-vs.-them” mentality from their teams. Certainly, we don’t want an adversarial climate between teams and company leaders, but leaders should not be afraid when they see strong commitment between team members that they may not be a part of. Instead, leaders can encourage an “I’ve-got-your-back” mentality on teams by consulting team members before making personnel changes and by allowing teams the time and space to gel.

Before you dismiss the four elements of good teams, let me ask you: would you want to be on a team that has those four things? Would you be empowered to do your best work in that kind of team environment? If it’s inspirational to you, chances are that teams in your company would find these four elements inspirational to them.

Follow us on LinkedIn to get thoughtful articles on the bridges leaders must build and cross to inspire greater performance.

EMAIL DR. PHIL

February 19 2026

2 Ways to Build Trust in 30 Minutes

Phillip Shero Team Development

This is not a gimmick. You can actually build meaningful trust with someone in only 30 minutes. I purposefully practice these two simple methods in conversations almost every day, and I promise you that it works. Of course, this level of trust is not strong enough to drive a truck over right away. But it is the first plank on a bridge of trust that should hold your weight as you start across.

When Do You Need Trust Fast?

The most common scenario where you need to build trust quickly is when meeting new people for the first time.

It could be a new team member or boss at work. Or it might be a new prospect or your first meeting with a client. Whatever the case, you’ve got a very short time to make a first impression…

…and you want their first impression to be that you are worthy of their trust.

Another common situation where you need to build trust fast is when conflict has boiled over. Maybe you are the mediator or need to defuse the conflict. Or maybe you are party to the conflict but want to bring the temperature back down.

In conflict scenarios, the people may not be new, but trying this approach can build enough trust to re-open rational dialog.

1. Share Something That Makes You Vulnerable

The first way to build trust fast is to share something that makes you vulnerable and invites the other person identify with you. What should you share?

A mistake or failure. Listen for cues and share something relevant. Depending on the context, acknowledge business mistakes, relationship faux pas, or personal failures that allow others to see and identify with your humanity.

A flaw or weakness. “I’m good at seeing the big picture, but I’m not so good at recognizing how all the pieces fit in. That’s one reason I really value and need the other people on this team.”

An apology. “I think I made our situation worse by reacting so strongly and making assumptions about you. I’m sorry. Can we back up and re-start this conversation?”

Here is a non-work example, just to show how quickly this approach can work.

I was walking our dogs with my teenage son in a park near our house the other day and saw a frustrated mom pulling a screaming toddler in a wagon. I wanted to build enough trust to be able to say an encouraging word to her, so I pointed at my son and said, “This one was just like that when he was little.” Her face instantly changed from guarded to open, so I continued, “You’re doing a great job, mom!” She brightened a little, and we walked on past.

One sentence was enough to acknowledge that I had faced the same struggle and was not judging her. It did not bond us deeply, but it opened the door for her to receive encouragement from a total stranger.

2. Remember What They Say and Repeat it Back

The second way to build trust fast is to remember what the other person says and then repeat it back to them. This level of attentive listening is so rare that I often see people physically react with surprise.

Remembering what people say requires paying careful attention. This approach is often called active listening or reflective listening. Instead of thinking about what you are going to say next, use your extra brain capacity to store as much of their actual words as you can for recall.

When possible, actually take written notes. I always do this in phone conversations and frequently in face-to-face conversations. You can refer to your notes and repeat back some of the same words and phrases they used with powerful effects.

When it’s your turn to talk, start with, “What I heard you saying was…” Say it back to them in summarized form but complete. Then ask, “What did I miss?”

By listening and repeating back, you are showing that you value what the other person has to say. In fact, you value their words enough to delay making your own point until you have understood them.

Why Does This Work?

Both of these methods can be used together in the same conversation. The first method drops their guard (because you dropped yours first) and invites them to identify with you in some small way. The second method shows that they are important to you and that you want to understand them.

“We tend to trust people with whom we have something in common. And we tend to trust people who make an effort to understand us.”

If you want to go deeper, read up on psychological mirroring. When you drop your guard, others will tend to mirror you and lower their defenses. When you work to listen and understand, others will begin to slow down and listen back. Mirroring will amplify the effect of the two trust-building behaviors I’ve suggested.

As I said at the beginning, these practices will not instantly forge the deepest or strongest trust. But they will create the first trust connections that you need for taking the relationship or conversation further.

EMAIL DR. PHIL

February 12 2026

6 Intentional Strategies to building Deep and Lasting Trust

Phillip Shero Team Development

There are two approaches to building trust: the fast track and the slow road. Together, they can create a bridge to powerful and meaningful relationships at work.

We’ve talked about how to build trust fast through vulnerability and reflecting back what people say. Today let’s consider how the slow road is different.

If your goal is to build deep and lasting trust over time, there are six habits you should begin to practice. In this post, we’ll look at the first three.

1. Do What (People Think) You Said You Would Do.

There is a critical shift between “do what you said you would do” and “do what people think you said you would do,” and that shift makes all the difference in creating lasting trust.

“Do what you said you would do” is basic integrity. You’ve heard it before, and if you’re a good leader, you are already know that integrity is king. You likely believe that you’re doing a pretty good job in this area, because integrity is important to you on a personal level.

In fact, your integrity is so important to you, that you are probably quick to defend it whenever someone complains that you did not do what you said you would do. And that very act of self-defense undermines the trust you are trying to build (more on that in point #2).

Instead of defending your integrity (which puts the focus on you), defend the importance of the other person by doing what they thought you said you would do (which puts the focus on them).

I can have integrity all day long, but if others do not think I am doing what I said I would do, then my perceived integrity is in the toilet—and so is their trust in me. Integrity builds trust, but only when people see that integrity. If they thought you were going to deliver X, then deliver X—even if it hurts. If they thought you were going to be there, then be there—even if you have to change your schedule. If you can’t deliver, then offer a sincere apology and move to make it right (rather than explaining yourself).

You can practice this habit proactively by asking people what they heard you commit to and clarifying any miscommunication on the front end.

“When people believe that they are not important to you, they absolutely will not trust you.”

2. Resist the urge to defend yourself from criticism.

Nothing undermines trust faster than defending yourself. Self-defense is the opposite of vulnerability, and it immediately communicates that I am more important than you. Self-defense says, “It’s more important for you to understand that I was right than it is for me to give you what you need.”

When people believe that they are not important to you, they absolutely will not trust you.

So, what should you do when you are criticized? If your goal is to build lasting trust, then you must choose to accept today’s discomfort for the sake of that goal. Lower your shield, back down from DefCon 4, and say something like, “I can see that I did not meet your expectations, and that has caused a problem. Would you tell me how you think it should have gone and how I can make it right?”

In the course of the conversation, you may earn the opportunity to explain your good intentions. But if your goal is to build trust, then your first priority must be to understand the other person’s perspective. Only after they have seen evidence of that priority can you give an explanation without weakening the bridge of trust.

3. Be physically present and available to go to them.

You’ve heard that leaders are supposed to be more available. That’s a good trait, but it’s not enough to build deep trust. When I’m available, you still have to come to me. It builds more trust when I take the initiative and go to you.

When I was president of a university in Africa, it always frustrated me for my staff to say, “We know you are busy…” as the reason that they did not talk to me. In my heart, I considered my staff to be of utmost importance to me, and I would willingly (and often) set aside other tasks to give attention to them. I considered my willingness and practice of being available to be evidence that they were important. But trust is not based on what I think of myself—it’s based on what you think of me.

Here’s the problem: going to the boss to ask for his/her time requires people to overcome the obstacle of speaking upwards. No matter how egalitarian your culture is, many people will experience some level of hesitation about talking to the boss.

As a leader, you can build tremendous trust by going to them and creating the opportunity for them to speak to you. The very act of you physically visiting their work station shows that you value them.

A similar practice applies when building trust with peers or those outside your company. When you go to them, you demonstrate the value of the relationship and create more trust.

Each of these habits share a common assumption about trust. That assumption is simple: “We trust people who put our interests above their own.” When I believe that you sincerely consider my interests more important than your own, I will trust you to the moon and back. When you consistently demonstrate that priority over time, you will build lasting trust.

EMAIL DR. PHIL